To My Son in Heaven

From Jacke

To Randy…

She’s been courageous since accepting the journey of motherhood even though it seemed impossible. As a little girl, she dreamt it would fill her heart with many days of cuddling and cooing; it was ever so soothing. Nursing in the wee hours of the night, tired and frustrated when you wouldn’t go back to sleep, she then tiptoed away from your crib, trying hard not to make a peep. She wept as you left her care from Kindergarten, and the day you threw your cap in the air.

She dropped to her knees the day you took the car keys. She yelled, “Please be careful!” after every hug goodbye as you returned to college to pursue your dream, and her heart beamed.

The day you walked down the aisle with your one true love, she knew she couldn’t have done it without the Lord above. With this marriage, she acquired a daughter to share, even right down to the things they would wear. Her house still held many moments of joy, celebrating days shared with her little boy. Then God extended your love by gifting her with grandsons, you see, God’s perfect design of this gender gives her the ability never to grow weary of being soft and tender.

Then, without warning, she experienced every mother’s greatest fear, the day she lost her boy that she held so very dear. That day the earth shook and released the heavy snow, and underneath she cried, frozen beneath her Landslide.

God sent many earthly angels to breathe hope down below so she could once again feel the warmth of the sun and not come undone. This journey of courage that began so long ago has tested her faith by far, but she knows her boy will be seen again he desires for Mom to shine like a beautiful star.

Jacke Van Woerkom

February 9, 2017

Written By Jacke Rose

Author of the book, Resurfacing, a twelve-week hope-filled guide designed to share with other grieving moms and the Just Be Journal for grieving moms. Jacke, a grieving mother herself and a self-induced adventure junkie with a passion for life, found refuge in an off-grid treehouse on the island of Hawaii, where she wrote the book. No stranger to personal trials, in January of 2016, she faced an overwhelming obstacle, the death of her 30-year old son, Randy, to suicide, a tragedy that left her, as well as his grieving wife and two young sons, devastated. Through all of this, Jacke continues to face challenges with a tenacious spirit of hope, which she brings to others through her retreats, Facebook Live, Zoom, and speaking engagements. Having blended these life challenges and passions, she has created a life she truly loves, using her talents to encourage others to find balance and purpose amid life's darkest moments. Jacke currently lives in Bend, Oregon, which she refers to as her giant playground for extreme sports and, most importantly, God's gift after losing her son to fulfill her love of the mountains. She named her ranch, The Just Be Ranch welcoming all who visit to Just Be themselves and breathe.

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