The Shadowed Stowaway

From Jacke

Grieving is a natural phenomenon among humans, but why must we have to say goodbye to those that we love so dearly, especially a child?

I’ve acquired an unwelcome stowaway of sorts that travels with me everywhere I go. Its presence is dark, heavy, and consumes my everyday thoughts, conversations, and relationships. It creates an eerie void in my mind resulting in numbness, forgetfulness, and sudden outbursts of crying. I want to pull over, insisting that this is the final stop for this shadowed passenger, but it assumes its position. This stowaway carries much baggage consisting of guilt, shame, and regret.

Finally, after many miles of traveling together, I engage in a conversation, and after an awkward introduction, it now has a name…Grief. I’ve gotten better acquainted with Grief, and I’m accepted even when I become angry and irrational. The more we talk, the lighter this journey together feels because Grief offloads some of the unnecessary baggage.

I shared my relationship and reliance that I have in God with Grief. Grief smiled and said, “You see, even though I am never welcomed to travel this world with you, once you can accept my presence, it will quiet your heart and illuminate the new direction God has for you.”

Today, I encourage you to talk to Grief in the presence of your Heavenly Father. Grieving is the experience we have on earth in the absence of our loved one. Focus on what is on the other side of that grieving and when we will be reunited with our loved ones. One day, you will share how you’ve come to grips with Grief with another broken-hearted traveler.

Written By Jacke Rose

Author of the book, Resurfacing, a twelve-week hope-filled guide designed to share with other grieving moms and the Just Be Journal for grieving moms. Jacke, a grieving mother herself and a self-induced adventure junkie with a passion for life, found refuge in an off-grid treehouse on the island of Hawaii, where she wrote the book. No stranger to personal trials, in January of 2016, she faced an overwhelming obstacle, the death of her 30-year old son, Randy, to suicide, a tragedy that left her, as well as his grieving wife and two young sons, devastated. Through all of this, Jacke continues to face challenges with a tenacious spirit of hope, which she brings to others through her retreats, Facebook Live, Zoom, and speaking engagements. Having blended these life challenges and passions, she has created a life she truly loves, using her talents to encourage others to find balance and purpose amid life's darkest moments. Jacke currently lives in Bend, Oregon, which she refers to as her giant playground for extreme sports and, most importantly, God's gift after losing her son to fulfill her love of the mountains. She named her ranch, The Just Be Ranch welcoming all who visit to Just Be themselves and breathe.

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