GRIEVING MOMS FINDING HOPE

Hi, my name is Adella. I’ve been a faithful follower of Jesus Christ since 1983. I was a teenage alcoholic, and I dabbled with some drugs. Praise Jesus; I have been delivered from alcohol and drugs for over 37+ years!!!

My daughter Ladel passed away on my birthday in 2018. She was a Type 1 Diabetic, and someone told her to go on the Keto diet. (very dangerous, especially for diabetics). Ladel died of ketoacidosis with her 10-month-old daughter by her side.; we didn't find her until the next day. Ladel was buried in Kentucky, and all 3 of her kids are being raised by their dad’s parents. Since Ladel’s death, I know nothing I can do to bring her back, and I know that I needed to be closer to my Heavenly Father to feel close to my daughter. HE has blessed me with His peace and comfort. Right after her death, I just knew that Ladel would want her mom to be happy. I found a T-shirt that stated, “I will choose joy in the journey that God has set before me.” Yes, this is a horrible thing to happen to any mom, and I wanted to take my hurt to help other Grieving Moms. 

Hi, my name is Adri Wilson. I live in Malvern, Pennsylvania, with my loving, supportive husband of 46 years. God blessed us with three healthy children, and now we enjoy the company of six grandchildren. I love the beach, reading, walking, and spending time with family and friends. While the children were growing up, I wore many hats in different ministries of our church, Sunday School teacher, compassion ministry. I’m currently involved in missionary support, a prayer team, and a life group. I am retired now, but I taught elementary education and special education and was in the role of the program coordinator/assistant principal. I became a Christian when my youth group leaders shared God’s love for me, that He sent Jesus to die for my sins so I could have eternal life. My walk continues with the Lord.

Our youngest child, Janelle, got married in her 30s, moved into a home, and had her daughter Charlie in August 2018. We were so thankful God had provided her a husband and baby. We were so happy to welcome another family member. During Janelle’s pregnancy, she was being treated for pneumonia, but medications were not helping a consistent, terrible cough. Four weeks after her daughter was born, she was admitted to the hospital. On October 4, 2018, she was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer (not from smoking). She underwent and endured many types of chemotherapy and radiation. By mid-May 2019, the doctor told her the medical team had no other treatments to offer her. She wasn’t eligible for any trials. Now was the time to seek alternative methods. So, my husband, myself, daughter, son-in-law, and the baby moved to Southern California for three months, where my daughter received treatments every day. She was very sick and in a lot of pain. But there were good days too. By the end of August, it was clear we needed to get home. While we were in California, my daughter spent time organizing her daughter’s 1st birthday party. She wanted to live for that occasion, and she did despite being in pain and needing to nap in-between. Less than a month later, she died on October 4, 2019, a year from the day she was diagnosed.

She was so funny, the comedian of the family. Wise beyond her years. She was a Professional Counselor for everyone but specialized in drug and alcohol addiction. She had an infectious personality. Everyone she met wanted to be her best friend. We miss her terribly but know she is in Heaven with her Lord and Savior. Knowing she is with the Lord is the greatest comfort to me.

While in Southern California, my husband and I attended Saddleback Church in Lake Forest. I began following Kay Warren on Facebook, where I found out about the ministry Grieving Moms Finding Hope. I read the devotionals on Facebook. I finally decided to join a group just after a year of my daughter’s passing. The community with other grieving moms has been a true blessing of love, understanding, and support for me. It is a safe, confidential place to share your life on this unexpected journey. A verse that has resonated with me is John 16:33, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” Because of the hope and promises God has given me, I know I will be reunited with my daughter for eternity.

  BIOGRAPHY

 I am sharing this Biography in Loving Memory of my precious son Grant: my Loving and Honourable Gentleman. Born May 13, 1980 Passed on to Heaven June 10, 2007Heaven is now his Home.

Who am I?

My name is Diane Saxen and I live in Brisbane, Queensland Australia where I migrated to (in a wooden bottom boat called the Lakemba) in 1961 with my family (Mum, Dad, Brother, and Sister) from Fort Collins Colorado USA where I was born in 1957. We were at sea for many weeks; a story for another time 😊

I believe in, am loved by, and love God (the Trinity; Father; Son and Holy Spirit). I was first introduced to God as a child, and we have continued our relationship throughout all my life.

I am now retired and enjoy hanging out with my husband and family, and friends, playing the piano, walking and other exercise, and researching topics of interest, especially about physical, mental, and spiritual health.

 A Little about Grant 

Grant was a: loving and very loved son, brother, partner, grandson, cousin, uncle, nephew, godfather, and friend; who also developed a close relationship with God. 

He was a talented horseman, who loved working in all areas of agriculture management and equipment. 

Further, he was a successful sportsman, trumpeter, student, carpenter, businessman, homeowner, and proud of his car and collector motor bike.

He had a mischievous, unexpected, and contagious sense of humour, with a gentle and caring heart; a 'friend' to everyone that he met, and a gracious and patient listener. 

Throughout all his life he was brave in the face of adverse health challenges. 

Before Grant’s passing to Heaven (1st 50 years of life)

Throughout all my growing up years (while feeling loneliness as an immigrant without my extended family) I dreamt of being a wife, mother and eventually a grandmother; to fill my lonely void. God blessed me with each of my dreams and I am the proud mother of 3. 

Loss, trauma, and grief (Landslides) before Grant Passed

Loss, together with subsequent grief, that shattered my dreams, was not unfamiliar to me throughout my first 50 years of life. The most memorable trauma was the ‘loss of the love’ of my childhood sweetheart, and father of my 3 precious children. My loss of his love resulted in our divorce when my children were 5, 7 and 9. This was my first major Landslide; the one that most equipped me with my backpack of coping skills, for the enormous Landslide that took place in my 50th year. I chose to hold on to my relationship with God during all the painful and confusing lessons that followed this event.

Grant’s passing to Heaven (In my 50th year) The worst day on the mountain.

In 2007 (the year of my 50th birthday) my precious second son Grant, moved to Heaven at the age of 27. My precious Grant was born with Hyperhidrosis (extreme sweating condition). At age 21 he had an ‘Endoscopic Thoracic Sympathectomy’ (Operation to correct this condition) that failed and made his condition much worse. He developed a “Rare Disorder” called Acute Compensatory Hyperhidrosis” that caused him to develop “Exertion Heat Stroke” that resulted in his becoming unconscious on many occasions. After 5 years of enduring this (age 26), he developed chronic Psychosis (after sustaining his first Psychotic episode) and a severe depressive disorder. My conclusion is that the health of his brain had been compromised. He was hospitalized several times and administered medications and ECT’s. Doctors said that his symptoms were those of a mental illness that most looked like Paranoid Schizophrenia together with severe Depression. Grant (age 27) passed on to Heaven and into the arms of Jesus, by Suicide, from his own bedroom during the night, where I found his body later that day. 

Psalm 26 was open on his bed of which Verse 8 is my favorite: “God I love living with you; your house glows with your glory.”

After Grant’s passing to Heaven (In my 50th year)

This experience was NOT a part of my childhood dream and was the most excruciatingly painful and traumatic of all my LANDSLIDES. It not only shattered my dreams, but my very being, my soul. 

During the next 14 years God has been faithful and has sustained me. God has salvaged a selection of pieces from the wreckage of my landslide and has formed me into the Diane that I am today. While I am not the Diane that I was, each salvaged piece is recognizable; and blends perfectly with the new pieces that I am building together with The Holy Spirit; who was with and within me before, during and now, after my Landslide. I made a choice to hold on tight to my Faith in God; and for that decision I am thankful. I held on to my “Mustard Seed of Faith”; and now God is restoring me into a place where other ‘Grieving Moms’ can find hope and healing in the branches of my life.

Matthew 13:31 – 32 

The Parable of the Mustard Seed 

31 He put before them another parable. The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed that a man planted in his field.

32 Although it is the smallest of all seeds, yet it grows into the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and nest in its branches.“ 

Grieving Moms” has become a particularly important part of God’s rebuilding of my life. I joined a zoom group with other beautiful grieving moms who have become some of my precious new loved and treasured sisters for life. 

I encourage every grieving Mom to join a zoom group as I did.

Thank you Jacke for your love and care for all of us ‘grieving moms’. I love you. 

  Hello, my name is Donna Kniss. I live in Cherry Valley, California.

June of 2019 is when my Landslide hit. I lost my handsome son Travis; he was 23. He struggled with mental illness and had several concussions. It was a very long, difficult road. He was bipolar, abused drugs, and was very difficult for about ten years prior. I set boundaries early on because addiction is very prevalent in my family. God led me to a Grieving Moms Finding Hope retreat four months after I lost Travis. I feel like that was the lifeline that God sent to save my own life. I struggled severely with guilt, shame, regret, and any other unhealthy emotions that the enemy could drown me in. It was amazing that God led me to Jacke and these other mothers at the retreat. We are all so close and connected. I wanted to hide away in my sorrow, and instead, I met this mama that is fighting to help others along this same ugly road. I knew I could NEVER make sense of my son's death by suicide, but I knew that God could make beauty from ashes, and I desperately needed some beauty brought back into my life. If you seek God in your pain and sorrow, he will meet you where we are.

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed." -Psalms‬ ‭34:18‬ ‭NLT‬‬

It's been a journey of seeking help through my son's passing with counseling, prayer, journaling, and EMDR therapy for trauma. It isn't easy to try to heal but certainly worth the effort to try to find joy again after such a devastating loss. You are not alone, and the enemy wants you to feel as you are. There are so many of us that are willing and want to walk beside you. I facilitate a local group from Beaumont, Banning, Yucaipa, Calimesa, and Redlands. We meet on Monday nights at a different location every season.

My email is donnakniss@me.com

Please reach out. 

Thank you, 

Donna Kniss 

Hi, my name is Grace Carnegie. I live in Lake Forest, California, with my wonderful, God-loving husband, Keith. We are members of Saddleback Church in Lake Forest. For many years I’ve volunteered in several different areas of the church and have been a Ministry Leader for other ministries. Before retirement, I worked in the medical field in office management. I love to cook and bake, read, hearts, listen to Christian music, take long walks and spend time at the beach, my happy place.

My son Fred passed away on September 21, 2013. Fred loved to read, scuba dive, and spend time with his family and friends. He had a quiet demeanor and a great sense of humor. Fred was a loyal employee who excelled in all forms of verbal and computer communication. He loved his brother, Jeff, sister-in-law Lisa, two nieces, Natalie and Elizabeth, and his nephew Jonathan. Jeff and his family also live in Southern California and have been a great support to me.

I did not find Grieving Moms Finding Hope until I was in my fourth year of grief. After joining a group, I was able to share with other moms who understood my pain. As I shared my grief journey with the other moms, I began to feel healing taking place. Every chapter in the workbook GMFH spoke to all the emotions I face. It touched on areas that I thought were mine alone only to realize all grieving moms experience such thoughts and feelings. I knew that I wanted to share what I learned through Grieving Moms Finding Hope with other moms. I am now a GMFH leader. We meet weekly at Saddleback Church, and I am blessed that the Lord opened a safe place for grieving moms to come and share.

Hello, fellow Grieving Moms Finding Hope,

I guess I'm qualified to be on this journey because I, too, have suffered the loss of my child and have determined to trust God in His purposes and plans. Lindsey was my only child, born a miracle baby two months premature. I was blessed to be her Mom for 23 years. She was an enthusiastic follower of the Lord Jesus and attended the University of Oregon as a Sophomore when she was diagnosed with Hodgkin Lymphoma. After a three-year battle of hopes raised and dashed, three hoped-for remissions, and a bone marrow transplant, the doctors told us nothing more could be done, and I suffered the nine-month agony of watching my beautiful daughter slowly leave us. With many friends surrounding her, she fought hard. We laughed more than we cried because Lindsey had a gift for loving and laughing, and she carried us all through with her inspirational ways. Since her passing, the week before Christmas 2016, my husband, Jim, and I have welcomed Lindsey's closest friends for an annual Warm Blankets Retreat that occurs on her birthday weekend. We are all about ministry by presence, being together with our grief, and finding comfort in love and care. We have also started a non-profit organization, "Warm Blankets," with the mission of coming alongside those facing traumatic loss and grief such as sudden death, loss of a child, or cancer. I have been a speech-language pathologist for over 37 years. For 16 years, I directed The Speech Center Plus, which I founded in 2006, and which grew to employ over eight therapists (ST, PT and OT, and educational specialists). Amidst the ever-changing medical world combined with the challenges of divorce, our cancer journey, and the loss of Lindsey, I made the difficult decision to scale down and eventually close my clinic. I returned to work for Providence Home Health and Hospice in Medford, Oregon. My husband recently left a large church where he served as Senior Pastor and is now a hospital Chaplain, and we together have known many fellow sufferers. I have long envisioned leading a support group for Moms who've lost children. Still, frankly, it's taken me these five years and finding Jacke Rose's GMFH organization, mission, and materials to feel ready. This grief journey is long and strenuous, and we need each other. We need this community. I want to do whatever I can to settle into God's purposes for all this pain.

Shalom everyone,  

I'm Leoba Mashaba from South Africa.   I experienced the tragic death of my 24 year old son, Tapiwa Darlington Mashaba in 2016. He was murdered by being bitten and thrown thrown from a 9th floor building.   

I found Jacke's Grieving Moms Finding Hope page on Facebook and connected with her and other moms in 2017. I have been comforted and felt Spiritual hands holding me along my Grieving to this day.  

I'm the leader of our group here in South Africa. I would like to thank the other leaders who joined Spiritual hands with me when my grand daughter wasn't feeling well. She is now a healthy bouncing baby, thanks to the fervent prayers that the leaders made.  

I love you all. 

My name is Karen. For as long as I can remember, I wanted to be a loving wife and mother.

I married young (barely 20). My husband didn’t want children, but I talked him into it, and we had a son when we were 23 and a daughter at 26. My husband was verbally abusive and very angry all the time; I did my best to shield the children from him when his moods darkened. 

The children and I were very close. We raised the kids on a ranch in Southern California. The children and I enjoyed raising horses, pigs, chickens, cows, and goats. We also grew our own fruits and vegetables. It was a wonderful time for the children and me, and we had plenty of room to roam and create some incredible memories. As time went on, it became more difficult to manage the ranch and work full time, and since the kids were getting older and wanted to be closer to their friends, we sold our ranch and moved into a neighborhood. My son, David, showed signs of mental illness and needed counseling, so he started attending a special school. That seemed to be the beginning of the end of his well-being.

June 1, 2015, was supposed to be a wonderful day. It was a day I had worked 40 years for; I was retiring! I had so many plans; my mind was racing. One of the first things I planned to do was take a trip to see my son. It would be a lovely drive up the coast of California and through Oregon to Washington, where he lived. I hadn’t seen him since he’d moved up there a few years before, and I missed him terribly. 

What was supposed to be a wonderful day turned out to be the worst day of my life. 

I had gone out to celebrate my retirement with some friends, and when I returned home, I received a call from the Medical Examiner’s Office in Washington. They called to notify me that my beautiful son David had died. He was 34. His body had succumbed to the alcohol he had used to numb his mental pain. 

The world crashed around me as I held the phone. I don’t remember much after that, but I must have screamed because the police were at my door; the neighbors had called them. 

I quickly got myself together; I had to be strong for my family and friends. My husband wouldn’t allow me to talk about David or even go up to Washington to lay him to rest. Thankfully David’s friend did that for me. I kept all my sorrow and grief to myself and told everyone that I was “fine.”

My husband’s abuse worsened after the death of our son. When the abuse turned physical, I felt it was time to leave. I filed for divorce after 40 years of marriage. 

I believe God began restoring my life at that point. Things really changed for me in positive ways. 

I was able to get out and reconnect with friends I hadn’t seen in years. I was able to go to Bible studies and women’s groups. A whole new world was opening up to me. 

Eventually, one of the friends I reconnected with from high school proposed to me. I didn’t think I would ever want to be in a relationship again, but I was ready. Mark and I were married in 2019. He helped me open up about David by asking me questions and truly knowing about him. I found I enjoyed talking about David, but I also realized that I never really grieved for him. 

That year I was at a women’s night out at church. They had signups for small groups, and I signed up for a “Hurting Moms” group; after all, I was hurting badly. The Hurting Moms group led me to the Grieving Moms Finding Hope group on Facebook. I joined a Zoom group and went through the Resurfacing book with some incredible women. That is when my true healing began, almost five years after David had died. I learned how to grieve and how to forgive. It was helpful to go through this process with other moms who understood how I felt and what I was going through. After we finished the book, I joined another Grieving Moms group and went through the book a second time. 

I love keeping in touch with all the women I have met in these groups. We encourage each other often through scripture, by praying for each other, and by simply letting each other know we’re there and we care. 

After finishing the second GMFH group, I started leading my own group of women through the Resurfacing book. I genuinely believe that by helping others, we, in turn, help ourselves. This was certainly true in leading a group! The women in my group so blessed me. It amazes me how God places the right people together in a group. 

Sadly, this ministry is necessary, but I get so excited when I see all that God is doing in the lives of these wonderful, brave women. 

Through this process, I have truly broken free. I learned that it is okay to breathe, to live, laugh, cry and live a full life again, and most importantly, God’s not finished with me yet!

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” -Jeremiah 29:11

Hello! I'm so happy I've found GMFH, where I know I'm with women who truly "get it." I live in Tecumseh, Kansas, a tiny rural area near the Capital of Topeka. My husband and I have one son and two daughters, in addition to our youngest son, Joe, who has left this world. My oldest daughter and her four young children live near us, and the grandkids spend a lot of time at our house, so we keep active.

"Why, the question that is never far away…" (The Hurt and the Healer by Mercy Me) describes how I often thought even before my son Joe's passing. His 12-year journey with severe mental illness and the illness of addiction took him and us, his parents, through so many dark places, for so many years. We lost him twice, first to addiction and then to suicide. The devastation and trauma, physical and mental exhaustion, anxiety, emotional breakdowns, PTSD, all because we fought so hard to save Joe and, in the end, despite Joe's valiant fight and our determined efforts to save him, he succumbed to his demons. He was 24.

After losing Joe in 2019, I was blessed to find Grieving Moms, where I've seen many women who share their stories of faith, hope, and courage despite indescribable heartache. I have learned from these brave women that I can say yes; I will be okay. And most days, I am.

My journey is not only one of grief but also reconnecting with God after many years of being angry because He wouldn't heal my son. But after losing Joe, I no longer felt the need to be mad at God and began to rekindle a relationship with Him which had been significantly damaged. Moving back to embodying faith, patience, trust, and hope is painstakingly slow, but I find great hope and encouragement through women in the Grieving Moms' community.

I know, without a doubt, that God has a much bigger plan and purpose in the experiences and lessons of Joe's life. He will, in some way, use this heartache to accomplish His purpose, which is for His glory and our good!

I look forward to continuing my journey with our Grieving Moms' family to deepen my spiritual understanding and trust in God's bigger plan. And as we find commonality in our losses, we can each share our experience, strength, and hope through this painful journey.

 Never thought I’d write a bio for a grieving mom’s group as I am sure you never wanted to read one.  Well, here we are.  When my 28-year-old son Christopher passed, I was in agony and shouted out to the Lord for help.  Help to breathe, to get out of bed, to function, and to find out what to do next. Being completely shattered, I had no answers.  How do other moms get through this?? The “should ofs and could ofs” and ‘if onlys’ haunted me.  The answer came 4 months later by way of a google search that led to Jacke and the Grieving Moms Finding Hope (GMFH) ministry.  In short, it saved me! At the age of 58, I was a devoted mother who had raised two kids, put them both through college, had a successful 32-year career as a Speech Therapist and was ready to settle down to a relaxing retirement.  However, make plans and God laughs, right?  It was in the middle of the night on July 20, 2018 that I got that heart dropping call from my son’s girlfriend, screaming “Chris is Dead!”  What…???  

Our world changed in an instant. Christopher was a 3-sport athlete [football, basketball, and baseball] who had 3 knee surgeries including two major ACL repairs.   One for which there were complications and an infection that led to a long hospital stay and recovery.  Looking back now and researching it, in that time, he had been given 11 prescriptions of opioids [Vicodin and Percocet] to help with the pain.  The doctors used to give them out like candy, hence what we now know has led to a national “Opioid Crisis”.  There are pieces to this puzzle that we may never know, but we do know that Chris died due to fentanyl poisoning on that fateful night.  Not a known addict, never in rehab, we suspect, he turned to opioids to help with the pain that persisted in his knees. He did mention that he had trouble sleeping because his knees ached at night.   He had gained some weight and the day of his death, I spoke with him and although he was not supposed to, he ran 3 miles to get back into shape. He went back to what he knew.  We suspect that he no longer had a prescription or doctor for pain meds, so he must have gotten something off the street that was laced with fentanyl that poisoned and killed him instantly.  Cause of death was deemed as Accidental Fentanyl Poisoning. 

As I write this bio, I am reminded of the raw gut punching pain that was first endured but know today that I have changed, grown…and found hope.

Pushing through the frozen darkness to find the warmth of God’s light, is a process.  Although questions surface occasionally, they don’t consume me.  My hope lies in my Christian faith and belief that I will be reunited with my son in heaven for eternity. Chris was only with us for 28 years, a tiny amount of time compared to forever.  The GMFH ministry has helped me connect with other grieving moms who are thriving.  Jacke and the other courageous moms, are my inspiration.  If they can do it, I can do it.  What is the it??  What is your it? 

After going through the Resurfacing book, I knew that I wanted to start a group of my own.  Since November of 2019, local women in Mercer County, New Jersey meet on the 2nd and 4th Wednesday night, either on zoom or in person.  This group allows us to freely express our thoughts, fears, tears, questions, anger, doubts, anxieties, realities, and gain support only other grieving moms can understand.  In time, the healing and peace has gotten stronger. In honor of my son, I strive to live a life of purpose and find some peace on this side of heaven.  As of today, I live with my husband Charlie of 33 years and have a daughter Jenni age 26 along with three dogs, Bella, Giuseppe, and Luigi!  Each day I journey to find my it! I pray that you find hope that will lead to your it.  Just for today, one breathe at a time, you will be OK.  I love you Christopher, till we meet again

My name is Rosemary Bell, although I prefer to be known as Rosey. I live in Holywood, a small town near Belfast in Northern Ireland. At the time of writing this, I am 69 yrs old. I am married to Aubrey, who was in the same year group at medical school, and for 46 years, he has been a faithful and loving husband, sharing life's mountain tops and the deep, deep valleys. Aubrey prayed for me at university with a group of others, and I became a Christian during the second year of our six-year course. We married as final-year students and started our family four years later.

I worked part-time most of the years my children (apart from the youngest, Tanya) were small, and I retired from my career as a consultant pathologist just over a year ago. My specialty was women's health, Gynecological pathology, and reading Pap smears! Until recently, my passion was advancing women's health, particularly in preventing cervical cancer in poorer countries, especially in Uganda and Bolivia (have personal contacts in these countries). I am also passionate about education for girls and sit on the board of governors for a local girl's grammar school.

Aubrey and I are elders in the local Presbyterian church, but in our youth, we were influenced by the life of John Wimber, who founded the Vineyard fellowship. I, in particular, have strong ties with the vineyard church in Glasgow (in Scotland), where two of our daughters, Tamsin and Tanya, are active in church ministry and where our son David was baptized as an adult. Their pastor Jamie has greatly supported us after our landslide, as has our local church. 

We have four children, three daughters, Tina, Tamsin, and Tanya. Our only son David died suddenly of a cardiac arrest two years ago in Romania, whilst walking with his friend in the hills above Brasov. He was on holiday with his Romanian wife Alina and their wee son Noah, who was only four months old when David died. David was under immense pressure at work and taking time to "clear his head." Our lives changed dramatically when we got the phone call to say David had dropped dead. I heard God say, almost audibly," The Lord gives and the Lord taketh away: Blessed be the name of the Lord" We know our children are only loaned to us, but there is nothing to prepare you for the loss of your child. Like many of you mums, I felt like I did not want to live and struggled to get up every day! 

These are difficult circumstances following David's death that are still not resolved due to delays caused by the pandemic. Although friends and family were supportive, it wasn't until I heard Jackie Rose in conversation with Kay Warren that I realised there is something different in a mother's grief, not more or less than others' grief, just different. As they talked (and I listened online), I knew in my heart I should join a Grieving Moms Group, and through this, I have been gently led to grieve as a Christian Mom, finding hope in Christ for the future. As Jacke shared, Scripture has been new, as if reading for the first time, and so personal! I love her constant reassurance to us moms "you're gonna be alright."

So, my passions have shifted, and I lead the small group that initially met with Jacke, a group of soul sisters. With God's help, I hope to comfort and gently lead others through this difficult path and to know that with God's help, they, too, will be ok!

Zach’s Momma 3/10/91-5/06/18

Hi Friends,

First of all, I want to tell you how sorry I am that we have to meet this way. A bit of myself so that you know me a little. I am the youngest of six with five older brothers. I now have two left, my brother, just older than me, took his life when he was 17, and I was 13, and my other two brothers died eight years ago and five years ago. I grew up knowing Jesus at a very young age and then decided as an adult to follow Him with my whole heart after going through a heartbreaking circumstance at about 21 years of age. I married my first Husband after having my firstborn son Zach, and even though He was incredibly abusive to me, I convinced myself that no one else would ever want me now that I had a baby. To make a long story short, I stayed in an emotionally, mentally, and physically abusive marriage for 18 years and three more beautiful children later, before I finally got out. Beaten, bruised, and the self-esteem the size of a small ant, I was finally divorced. He then moved to Texas and left me with all of my children, which was fine with me, but I was not free of him in my mind; he was still able to make me feel terrible about myself from afar. Literally, it took walking minute by minute with Jesus to feel like I would survive. 

My friends used to tell me that I should write a book about all that I had been through and how the Lord was helping me with all of that; I Never in a MILLION Years would have thought that my ministry would be to other grieving Mommas because of the Loss of my precious son. My son Zach was hit and killed by a drunk driver who was 2 ½ times over the legal limit on May 6th, 2018. My baby was 24 years old and was 45 seconds from his home, where he was on his way back to after visiting his friends. I didn’t receive the dreaded knock on the door until 9:30 the next morning. I don’t have to tell any of you how that feels. Unfortunately, we all know how that feels. 

My prayer for all of you who are in this same position is that I can impart the Hope of Jesus, the NAME above ALL NAMES, Our ONLY Hope, that He promises to be SO close to our broken hearts (psalms 34:18). My Joy is being able to be His hands and feet to reach out to any of you who need Hope and encouragement and help give you the tools to walk this journey we NEVER wanted to walk.

2 Corinthians 1:3-5

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ the Father of Compassion and the God of all comfort, Who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God, For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.

In His Love, 

Susie